PsychSense: Sensible Psychological Solutions

I have always been thrifty as I grew up in a poor family.  As a professional I used to be somewhat embarrassed at my thriftiness. NO MORE!  I am now personally cutting back even more in my life, downsizing and trying to not WASTE money. It is nice to know I am not alone.  I am sorry for those who are being forced to downsize  due to the economy, but I sense that some of us are enjoying it also. 

Recently I was talking with some friends about empathy. They seemed to want to know more. I wondered if my readers felt the same way.   I decided to publish  a selection from my book Behavioral First Aid that I thought you might find helpful.

Empathy is the most effective and important communication skill of all.

Basic empathy has two components. The first component is the ability to “walk in another’s shoes- that is, to understand the experience and feelings of another person in their particular circumstance.  The second component of empathy is the ability to successfully communicate that understanding to the other person.

The NY Times  this morning reports  that the rising toll of suicides in the military has hit a National Guard unit particularly hard: four soldiers, out of roughly 175 members, have committed suicide.

 If you haven’t read Seth Goden’s blog you should check it out.

Seth is a marketer and non-business readers might think they would have no interest in what he has to say. Beside his marketing savvy what I like about Seth is his humanity and philosophy.  He has a great sense of humor, a terrific instinctual understanding of people and what they need and like, and what motivates them. He is practical not pretentious at all, speaks to you with respect and offers what I see as truly practical advice applicable in business and life. Seth incorporates social justice in his marketing practices.

Dear Dr Duffy, 

 Can you help me?  I am a 35-year-old man with a responsible job as a Sales Coordinator in a leading Company.  I have a problem with unwanted fear (Social Phobia) for example when I see my Boss I am feeling very frightened with shaking in my body. In
meetings I am not able to reply properly to questions even though I am well prepared and know the exact answer. Sometimes when I answer phone calls I can’t ever speak properly.  However my work is quite good. I want to get rid this problem at any cost as I know it will effect my future.

Nursery Kids working with clay for the first time at CCC

Kids Eating Lunch (probably Ugali and Kale)

Breakfast with Kids before school at Watato Wa Baraka

Hi All,

I am glad to be home but missing the kids so much. I spent 3 weeks at a school in Molo Kenya (about 3 hrs north of Nairobi) and a week at Watoto Wa Baraka  an orphange about one hour north of Nairobi in a town called Mukuyu.

Love can suprise us again at any age. Love over sixty can cause anxiety and worry. We may be embarassed (and suprised) about how strong our sexual impulses still are! Instead lets celebrate our new relationship and the chance to experience LOVE again at ANY any age.   Fear of pain and tissue damage can prevent some women  from attempting or completing  sexual intercourse. The “use it or loose it” rule truly holds here. If you haven’t had intercourse in a while and want to give it a try here are some hints to help get you started again. I wrote this article for E-how and thought you might find it helpful.

Greetings From Molo, Kenya

Sorry I have been so long in posting. I have been in Africa for almost 2 weeks and the internet connections are painfully slow.

Let me tell you a little about my experiences so far.  I did some organizational consulting at Watoto Wa Baraka Orphanage in Makuyu about 1.5 hours north of Nairobi. This orphanage www.WatotoWaBaraka.org has about 37 children and is working hard to improve its physical facilities and volunteer program. They have many volunteers from all over the world! I made a number of suggestions about orientation, policies, health care, facilities etc. The thing I liked most as usual was playing with the children. The director of WWB Geoffrey Ngunda (check him out on face book) is a generous man, so he asked me to come about 3hrs north to a town Called Molo. Here some friends of his are struggling to help the many local orphans.

Are your worries overrunning the good stuff in your life?

Learn life lessons from your cat. Learn to ignore little things and keep them  from taking over your life

Little problems & concerns that often get blown out of proportion:

• Unfair criticism
• Doing the lion’s share of work
• Worry, worry, worry about things you can’t control
• Feeling misunderstood
• Feeling unappreciated
• Unable to change things

Lighten Up

• Surrender to the fact that life isn’t fair
• Don’t make things a big deal of things that aren’t

 Are you one of those people who ruminate after you said or did something you regret? You know, you can’t get it out of your mind, replaying it over and over in your head. You spend lots of time thinking what you should have done or said. 

I find self-talk to help me with a reality check when I am over-worrying and can’t let go of something I regret having said or done.  A sense of humor helps to keep a reality check and goes a long way to relieving your angst.  Try these suggestions they work better the more often you use them.