PsychSense: Sensible Psychological Solutions

Dear Dr. Duffy,

My 36 year old sister is the concern of the entire family. She is very reclusive; seldom venturing out of the house where she lives with her aging mother. She does not have a job and hasn’t had one for a long time, 10. She is very anxious about so many things and agonizes over decisions that appear to be minor. Within the last couple of years, we have become aware of her talking (more like mumbling to herself.) It has increased in
frequency and duration. Based on the expression on her face, her body language and the things we can hear, it is very negative self-talk. Lately, she expressed concern that the neighbors can hear and see everything that goes on in their house and that the drapes and blinds should be kept shut. We have strongly suggested counseling but she refuses.

When you are worried to reduce anxiety it helps to take charge as best as you can. This may be hard for some personality types, but any small step will do.   The action is  not expected  to solve the problem,  but is meant to help you feel that you are doing something and have some control over the situation (Which in most cases you really do.)  Remember it is the helpless feeling and anticipation of problems that cause so much discomfort.   Actions  may be as simple as reading up on a topic,  being prepared etc.

Reduce anxiety by being prepared!

Many people are anxious when they wait on the receiving line to congratulate the happy couple . Men tend to be feel more out of place at a wedding (why is a subject for another post!) than women. Often the bride and groom get many awkward unimaginative “good lucks” and “congratulations.” You can stick with that or consider something different. Choose what fits with your style and the style of the bride or groom. Memorize a line you like or make up one of your own and use it the next time you greet a happy couple. Being prepared will calm you and you will be able to really express your good wishes!

The tradition of milk and cookies before bed is based in fact (as
many of our traditons are) L-Tryptophan which is found in milk can
help you go to sleep. Add a carbohydrate and it works even better!

Here are some foods with L Tryptophan that make good bedtime
snacks. Turkey (put it on whole wheat bread), bananas (with small
bowl of wholewheat cereal), dates. Add dates to oatmeal which has
both carbohydrates and Gaba which also helps to calm you.

Good Night

Many people have difficulty with relaxation and meditation.

In our society we tend to be thinking all the time. Trying to clear
ourminds down by “not thinking” is really impossible for us. This is
why so many people are more successful in doing relaxation by
listening to a recording where someone is talking and repeating
phrases or words over and over in our minds. As you may notice if
you try to do thisusing just music or sounds it is often not
enough, our minds can overthink these! There is however another
relaxation method that is often overlooked.