Empathy Explained-A Selection From Behavioral First Aid: Managing Emotions During Emergencies
August 9, 2009 12:46 am Communication
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Recently I was talking with some friends about empathy. They seemed to want to know more. I wondered if my readers felt the same way.  I decided to publish a selection from my book Behavioral First Aid that I thought you might find helpful.
Empathy is the most effective and important communication skill of all.
Basic empathy has two components. The first component is the ability to “walk in another’s shoes- that is, to understand the experience and feelings of another person in their particular circumstance. The second component of empathy is the ability to successfully communicate that understanding to the other person.
 Empathy is not sympathy, (which is feeling sorry for someone); it is much more than that.  Empathy is the ability to be sensitive to the feelings of another and understand and appreciate their point of view. Empathy is a way of relating to others that comes naturally to some.  Although empathy may be developed, this can be difficult. On the other hand, empathic statements as a communication technique can be learned by those with a genuine wish to help. Empathic statements must be sincere, if they are forced and artificial, this will be quickly sensed by the patient.
 When correctly used, an empathic response can diffuse a volatile situation. On numerous occasions, empathic statements have worked to diffuse anger, calm fears, and reduce hopelessness. Non-empathic or insincere or inaccurate attempts at empathy can worsen a situation. The power of a sincere, accurate empathic response cannot be fully appreciated until the responder uses it successfully.
 To learn how to formulate an empathic response, you must first develop attention and listening skills. In order to understand what a person is feeling, you must listen with more than just your ears. You must be able to observe, hear, and sense the patient’s feelings and determine the most obvious reasons for those feelings. You must be able to understand the basic message the patient is trying to communicate to you. This is not to say you must understand unconscious or underlying meanings. Just the opposite, attempts to make deep interpretations can be dangerous. Rather, it is the patient’s stated or obvious feelings and his or her explanations for those feelings that you must hear, understand, and accept in order to formulate an empathic response.
 Accuracy is also important when making empathic statements. If you mis-identify the patient’s feeling, or the reason for the feeling the intervention will fail. But take heart; making empathic statements in a tentative or questioning manner will most often avoid this. Patients will usually accept misstates and correct you when necessary, and you will be able to try again. An empathic response must also be of accurate intensity (don’t use the word annoyed when the person is so furious they are feeling violent) and in the person’s communication style. To summarize, you must be able to communicate to the patient your understanding of his or her feelings and, when possible, the reasons behind it, in a genuine, caring, accurate manner.
In Behavioral First Aid you will find out how to make empathic statements and lots of examples. Check it out.
Floost :
Date: August 9, 2009 @ 11:53 pm
Interesting and informative. But will you write about this one more?
Dr. Duffy :
Date: August 20, 2009 @ 1:29 am
Thanks for your comment.
Empathy is one of my favorite topics also. It is a very useful skill.
Read more about Empathy in my original articles on http://www.PsychSense.com.