Research has shown those who are pessimistic have a higher risk of dying young.

Those who are more optimistic have better health, and better immune systems. Although pessimism may not be easy to change, you can tone it down with practice. No one expects or wants you to be a Pollyanna, trying to keep a positive attitude does not mean to tell yourself everything will be ok when you know it won’t.

There is a long complicated article in the NY Times today about suicide and impulsivity that is worth a read (if you can manage it.)

“Suicide autopsy” studies can give us lots of information, but no one really knows what goes through the head of a person just before he or she dies from suicide, it may be regret as suggested by one person interviewed by the author.

There are a few comments I would like to make about the article and suicide in general that are based on my own years of experience, and thoughts. If you can’t get through the article hopefully they will still make some sense to you.

Question and Answer Post

From a Reader named “Mary”

Please help me! I have been in a relationship with my live in boyfriend about 3 yrs. He is like having another child around. He does not help with things and expects me to take care of everything. He has a bad temper and although he has never hit me when he gets angry he breaks things. I want to end this relationship but when I tell him that he says he can’t live without me and will kill himself if I go. I’m scared! I don’t know what to do. I cry all the time and can’t sleep well at night.

I am often asked what to say or do to comfort someone who is upset. My answer is always : make an empathic comment. In thinking about it however I decided to give some examples of what not to say.

1.”I know just how you feel, when this happened to me blah, blah, blah.”

2. “Everything will work out for the best.”

3. “It’s time to put it behind you”

4.”You will get through this.”

5. “Thinking about it will just make you more upset.”

6. Attempts to change the subject

I realize I am a little late posting on this story, but I have been struggling with what to say. I decided to tell my own experience around this issue. I read the story on Harvard MDs and drug company money with a mixture of guilty pleasure (I was right!!!) and disgust.  The guilty pleasure comes from the I told you so feeling that I couldn’t help.  I had been complaining about the Harvard view for a long time (but nobody had listened.)

Be Prepared

We have all been reading about the floods in the midwest, the tornados and the wild fires in California. While we feel for those affected there is always relief that it did not happen to us or someone we love. While this is understandable, don’t put your head in the sand, or use denial. Perhaps its time to review the things you need to do to deal with a weather emergency. Remember the first thing is to take a deep breath, try to remain calm and get your list of things to gather or do. Use the skills you have learned at this site to remain calm and help others stay calm.

I would like to thank my financial advisor Jay Cappon of Rochester NY who is the author of this article. It is one of the many good and practical things he does to help people manage their money. Check out his web site at www.capvestfinancial.com 

We all know that a stress-filled existence is responsible for nail biting and dark circles under the eyes. But we may not realize the heavy toll it can extract from our bank account. Chronic stress, the kind you experience when the demands of life exceed your ability to cope, increases your risk of developing ailments ranging from the common cold and gum disease to obesity and heart diseases. This, in turn, will cause you to pay more for medical treatments, insurance and dental work. If you need more incentive to do something about your stressful lifestyle, consider these potential costs:

There is a terrific article in the NY Times today that is a must read for everyone who will eventually die (that’s you & me). It talks about the “you must fight” attitude many of us think we should have and expect of other people when they are very ill.  Is this the best for them and us?

PTSD Diagnosis up 50 % in Iraq Troups in 2007 according to an associated press article.

Is anyone  really suprised that acute stress reactions are very high in troups in Iraq?  I would think not. But the issue of  a PTSD diagnoses  is another matter altogether.   In my opinion PTSD  is a diagnosis in vogue these days that is overused (similar to  Bi-Polar disorder) .  I do not believe you do  justice to a person returning from combat by  labeling (and burdening) them with a diagnosis too quickly.

Question and Answer

I am a new nurse on a psychiatric inpatient unit. I was told that I was allowing a patient to “split.”  The person who said this to me seemed annoyed. Can you tell me what it means? What did I do wrong? I didn’t want to ask her.

 You may have heard the expression “splitting” as a description of the way that persons with personality disorders  relate to others.  Splitting is a coping mechanism (also called a defense mechanism) that is used by both persons with and without Borderline Personality Disorder.  It is a mechanism that is considered immature and is an unhealthy way to deal with disappointment in relationships.