Depressed Brother Refuses Help
October 19, 2008 8:38 am DepressionQuestion and Answer
Anne Writes
I am worried about my brother, he is depressed and refuses to consider going for counseling or medical care. What Can I do to help him?
Answer from Dr. Duffy:
It is very difficult to help someone who refuses help. First I suggest you encourage him to tell you what his objections are to getting help. Perhaps talking to you will help him clarify and overcome his fears or objections. If you have not already done so you may wish to give him information on depression as a real medical illness, not a weakness of character. The Mayo Clinic website is a reliable, good source of such information. Perhaps it would be better to encourage a friend of his to discuss the situation with your brother and tell him what he is seeing. Often family members are not the best ones to convince another member.
If he still refuses or won’t talk about it, I suggest trying a little guilt. For instance, the effect of his depression on those he loves who love him. If he won’t get help for his own sake perhaps he would do it for those he loves.
If he still refusing dispite your efforts you need to set limits. This means not always being available to help him or to listen to him. Sometimes a type of tough love is called for in situations like this. You need to take care of yourself, and let him know that although you love him, this is what you must do for your own sake.
If you think he is suicidal you may need to call the police to have him forced to have a psychiatric evaluation. I know this will be difficult to do and he may be angry. However this may save his life.
My last suggestion is to give him information on fish oil. Some studies show this to be just as effective in treating depression as antidepressants. Many people are less resistant to taking 3-4000 mg of fish oil a day
