PsychSense: Sensible Psychological Solutions

 Sorry I am a little late with this blog posting. I just got home from a trip to Long Island where I grew up. In a small beach town on the south shore of Suffolk county I spent 4 days reminiscing and experiencing many bittersweet memories.

This visit I saw some friends I had not seen in 50 years; it was amazing how the memories came rushing back in a group setting with everyone talking of their personal remembrances. We each had something to share about that time so long ago.

I got to thinking about reminiscing and wondering why it has such a strong draw.

 I know that reminiscing is something that the older we get the more we enjoy. Based on this, a magazine called Reminisce has gained a large following and made lots of money with a very simple format. We also use reminiscence with older folks as a talk treatment to help those who are sad and confused. Try it yourself with an elderly relative who is agitated or unhappy. Just ask them a simple question about their past.

 This adventure “home again” got me to thinking about the meaning and importance of reminiscing and nostalgia and trying to figure out why they are so irresistible at times.

 Here are some of my questions and thoughts.

 Ø     Is it the sweet memories and pleasure of remembering that attracts us?

 I don’t think so; many of the memories are not sweet and actually sad or painful, but these also can have a strong pull.

Ø     Is it the wish to be young and innocent again?

Being young was often not the best time of our lives, and sometimes I wonder if we were ever truly innocent. As youngsters we picked up on and experienced anxieties and worries from our environment. Even though we may not have recognized or understood these feelings we often had a vague  discomfort that we used all kinds of psychological maneuvers to avoid.

I believe that these trips down memory lane are more for self-understanding, acceptance and sometimes even personal change.

Every time I make one of these visits I realize something else that has affected me all my life, and made me who I am. This can be something I view as positive or not.

  I am a person with a desire (? need) to understand and that need drives me to search the past. It can lead to forgiveness of others, self-healing and self-acceptance that is priceless.

I also notice that the bitter in bittersweet gets less with each visit, I think I will go “home” again next year.

 Send me your stories or ideas about reminiscence in the comments so we all can enjoy and learn.