PsychSense: Sensible Psychological Solutions

In previous posts we talked about communication especially during times of stress.

One of the best ways to encourage communication and calm emotions is with the use of empathy.  Empathy may be called by different names but it follows the same principle.

Learning to make empathic statements is important to anyone who works with people in distress.

• Health Care Workers
•  Emts
• Paramedics
• Police
• Fireman

and even customer service representatives are learning about empathy, it makes their job much easier. It is also helpful in everday life, for everyone.

Empathy is one of the most valuable communication techniques and perhaps the most important of all. Basic empathy has two components. The first component is the ability to “walk in anothers’ shoes”— that is, to understand the experience and feelings of another person in their particular circumstance. The second component of empathy is the ability to successfully communicate that understanding to the other person.

Empathy is not sympathy, which is feeling sorry for someone. It is much more than that. Empathy is the ability to be sensitive to the feelings of another, and simply to understand and appreciate their point of view. Remember, when you make empathic statements about another persons feelings, only state the obvious don’t guess! Don’t make comments on what you think they should feel, or what you believe they are feeling underneath.

Always make empathic statements in a tentative way ( a questioning tone will do) so the person can correct you if you are wrong. It also allows the person to save face. For instance, if you are dealing with someone who is yelling and frustrated because someone stole her purse, the empathic response would be:

I can understand your anger at your purse being stolen. Easy huh, but is it not a duh! It really works.

Here are some examples of what not to say!

• Well at least your not hurt.
• Its not a big deal, you only had ten dollars in your purse.
• We will catch the guy!
• Try not to be so upset.

Statement like this will not help and will likely annoy the person further.

Try out an empathic statement the next time you want to comfort or calm someone.