PsychSense: Sensible Psychological Solutions

We will talk alot on this blog about communication.

 Communication that works is the basis of all successful relationships: family, friends, business and more. Many relationships have been broken due to poor communication and miscommunication. If you are in the helping profession (or even not) and trying to calm someone who is in distress there are many communication techniques that you can use. My book Behavioral First Aid: Managing Emotions During Crisis is built around how to communicate with certain kind of crisis.

One of the most important means of developing and maintaining a good relationship, whether it be parent child, friends, partners or spouses is the ability to communicate with one another. These skills are also critical for professionals who work with the public.

Just how difficult effective communication can be, often comes as a surprise.

Learning to listening is the first basic communication rule to keep in mind. Unless you listen well your comments will probably not have their intended effect.

Listening
Giving your full attention to what the other person is saying is known as “active listening”.  Active listening means not only paying attention to what the person is actually saying, but also trying to understand where he/she is “coming from.” Active listening means hearing not only the actual words, but also the
message behind them. I always liken this to hearing not just the words but the music also.

 Active listening is not as easy as it sounds and takes time to develop. You may have to ask the other persons questions such as, I am not sure what you mean by that or can you say more about that?

It is important to not interrupt unless necessary. If it is necessary say something like, can I ask something, or (tell you something ) here, and wait for a response. Try to do this only when you feel you absolutely need to explain something or correct a misperception. You can say something like, “ I think if you knew this you might understand better.”

Do not be thinking ahead of what your possible responses will be while you are listening. Do try to remember the points you want to address.

I will be talking lots more about communication in this blog so stay tuned.