Stress Management

Remember no one is without stress! Stress has a good side, it keeps us motivated, pushes us to do things that we otherwise would avoid. Remember the college days when anxiety over grades was the only thing that could make us sit down and study?

Lets face it, as much as we would like to, we can’t always avoid stress. Many times we are told by others to “reduce the stress in your life”; this is so much easier said then done! However, some factors have been identified that can help us deal with the inevitable stressors of live and protect against developing Post Traumatic Stress Disorder after a Crisis.

Research has shown that theses factors will help in making you more stress resistant.

1. Keep moving
2. Use active coping skills
3. Try to find something positive in difficult situations
4. Identify and live your basic values and principles
5. Ask for help when you need it from people you trust
6. Be open and flexible about your thinking and behavior
7. Some other random ideas

Keep Moving

This has always been a tough one for me because I am one of those “I hate to exercise” people. What has helped me is to NOT think of it as exercise and do it in small increments. Remember these can be as small as 5-10 minutes. Try to make it fun, and the more you can build it into your regular activities the more likely you are to keep it up.

Use the stairs, down is as good as up.

Walk whenever you can, you forget how enjoyable this is especially in spring. In winter you may need to settle for the mall, although many local schools let you use an inside track.
Shop in the mall and walk to both ends

Play with kids (this is great). If you don’t have kids of our own try babysitting for fun (or profit), offer your neighbors help, or volunteer (see below)

Dance: This is lots of fun. Just go out to a club or put an irresistible music video on the TV. You can take some lessons for swing. This is so much fun and terrific exercise; there are clubs and places where swing dancing occurs at least once a week. Go with a buddy but you will soon know lots of other people.

Get a hobby or volunteer where you actually move. Do some gardening for a local nonprofit, or be a guide in a museum where you walk a lot. Working with kids always gives you exercise, and there are many places that need help. If kids aren’t your thing working with the elderly can use up some energy. Working with animals at a shelter can be another place where you burn off some calories and get in shape.
Use your imagination.

Sign up for a class; lots of local continuing education courses involve some type of exercise. I always find if I commit to something I am more likely to do it. Schools also usually open the pool to the public. I like the water walking. This is fun in the winter, just sit on a noodle and move! Kids will also love this in the winter.

Just keep moving even playing the Wii ® will help. I think this is fabulous for kids and adults who spend a lot of time playing video games. There is a new Wii game out called Wii Fit. I haven’t tried it yet but I wonder if we actually came up with something to really make exercise fun!! Check out a demo the on YouTube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5oNVIcMnZh4

Use Active Coping Skills

People who deal with problems by trying to solve them, helping themselves, and taking charge are using active coping. This means that you must first look at the problem honestly. You must be able to evaluate if it is something you can change, or have some control over. If you can’t change it or control it you will need to figure out what to do to keep the stress from the problem at a minimum. If you find something you can do to change it (or perhaps a piece of it) do it! Remember the serenity prayer! God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference. --Reinhold Niebuhr

For many people if they can’t fix a problem learning about it and trying to understand it helps. The internet is a valuable tool for finding information about anything. When you do research, check the sources and sites. If you are not sure about a site verify the information in other places.

Those who avoid problems, just wait it out, or look to others for answers and solutions do not usually fare as well. Now of course there are some things that are best to ignore especially if they fit in the “can’t change it” category. As long as you are “actively” ignoring it you are ok. That means that you make the decision to ignore the problem after giving it some thought and deciding this it the best thing to do. You are actively ignoring a problem, not just avoiding it. Can you see the difference?

Try To Find Something Positive In Difficult Situations

Research has shown those who are pessimistic have a higher risk of dying young. Those who are more optimistic have better health, and better immune systems. Although pessimism may not be easy to change, you can tone it down with practice. No one expects or wants you to be a Pollyanna, trying to keep a positive attitude does not mean to tell yourself everything will be ok when you know it won’t.

It does not mean you bury your head in the sand! Rather, it is important to try to decrease negative thoughts and unnecessary pessimism. When you find yourself having such thoughts you must say, “stop” and force yourself to recognize other more positive possible outcomes. When I am upset over a situation I often ask myself “what is the worse that can happen here”. Many times you will realize that you can deal with even the worst. Don’t blame yourself when things go wrong. Pessimists think all bad things will last forever and good ones will be gone soon. Optimists think the opposite. Optimists tend to use active coping skills, such as those discussed above.

When I find myself angry at the world due to contact with some despicable person, I remind myself about all the good people in the world. Stay away from the nay Sayers and those who are too narcissistic to think of anyone else but themselves.

Express your emotional reactions honestly so you can effectively deal with what's bothering you.

Laugh more: Did you know that children laugh about 400 times a day, but adults only about 25 times. Instead of bristling at life's annoyances, try to view them as amusing. Look for humor in difficult circumstances. Try to avoid sarcasm, jibes or laughter at others expense. Laughing at yourself (especially your pessimism) is great too. Laughter is truly good medicine.

Research has shown laughter can:

• Improve your mood

• Lower your blood pressure

• Reduce stress

• Boost your immune system

• Help you relax and feel good.

• Release endorphins

• Improve breathing

• Reduce anxiety

• Relieve pain

• Help protect against heart disease
  
  

Identifying And Living Your Basic Values And Principles

We all need basic principles and beliefs to live by. Take the time to think about your own basic beliefs about the bigger questions such as why are we here? What is the purpose and meaning in life? What are the things that are most important to you in your life? Persons who have these basics as a cornerstone are more able to deal with stressful events. It is important that our lives and behavior reflect these principles.

Values are beliefs we have about what is worthwhile. Values are part of us and affect our choices and beliefs. Our values come from our life experiences and our family. Children learn values from those closest to them. We base our important life decisions on our values (sometimes unknowingly.) When we act in ways that are not consistent with our values, we feel uneasy, guilty and stressed. The more our decisions and actions are consistent with our values, the calmer and more confident we will feel.

Some examples of values are:

• Individuality

• Equality

• Honesty

• Helping others

• Responsibility

• Independence

• Perseverance

• Dependability
  

Get A Little Help From Your Real Friends

Sometimes we are not sure who our real friends are. Many of us have lots of acquaintances but are they friends? Good friends are not easy to come by. Making them takes time and effort, but it is worth it!

Friends are those people who want what’s best for us, and will be honest with us even when it is uncomfortable. Family can be helpful, but sometimes they may also be a source of conflict and stress. Friends can be chosen. Look for friends with similar beliefs, and values. Stay away from pessimists!

Once we know who our friends really are, we need to be able to tell them when we are in trouble and ask them for help.

The amount of contact we need with others may fluctuate from time to time and according to our individual personalities. Some people seem to have difficulty being alone, while others enjoy lots of solitude. It is important to know what works best for you and try to make it happen.

Be Open And Flexible About Your Thinking And Behavior

The trick in learning to be flexible is knowing when you are being rigid. Hints that you are being rigid include:

• You hear yourself saying the same old things.

• You react & speak your opinion without thinking.

• You cannot hear others point of view.
  

Remember you do not have to change your ideas or opinions; you just need to be able to fairly consider other’s point of view.

There are many things we are not able to control in life, and we cannot totally avoid stress and crisis. We do however have the ability to make ourselves more stress resistant. We can become more able to deal with that stress and move past it with a little self-awareness and planning.

Other Ideas to Stress Proof Yourself

Supplements:

Some Vitamins and herbs are thought to be helpful for calming yourself and reducing stress.

B vitamins are important. B-Complex is thought to be the best as is as a combination of Bs including B6, B12, folic acid, and more.

Vitamin E and C and the minerals zinc and magnesium are known to be depleted when the body is under stress. Some people take replacements especially during stressful periods.

Teas can be very helpful. Spearmint and chamomile tea are mildly relaxing, and you can drink as much of them as you want.

Another (stronger) remedy is passionflower. It is taken from a plant (Passiflora incarnate) native to the southeastern United States.

Physical Relaxation techniques

• Yoga has had many research studies that show it reduces stress.

• Tai Chi

• Breathing Exercises. These are easy, free, effective and can be done anywhere

• Massage/ Body Rub. A Great relaxer. Try a massage school for a good price.

• Water/ Bath/Hot Tub

• Sauna

• Take a Nap: (one of my personal favorites. When I am not making progress in a project, I stop, take a nap and wake up with lots of energy and seem to really be able to get unstuck.)

• Aromatherapy: The scents of essential oils help us relax by producing chemical responses within our brain. They are said to controls our response to stress.

For Relaxation try:

• Chamomile

• Cedarwood

• Rose geranium

• Jasmine

• Lavender

• Orange

• Patchouli

• Rose

• Sandalwood

Mental Relaxation Techniques

• Meditation: Being able to focus your attention on one thing. There are a lot of good sites that will teach you this.

• Autogenic Training: Teaches you to create a sense of warmth and heaviness throughout your body. This is a favorite of mine.

• Progressive Muscle Relaxation: Systematically tensing and relaxing muscles in the body. Not a favorite of mine but many people find it very helpful.

• Self-Hypnosis: In a relaxed state you attempt to address the issues of concern to you.

• Visualization: Easy (although it takes practice), free, and can be done almost anywhere. One of my favorites. Imagine that you are in a beautiful place. I use one of my favorite places. Try to bring the place to life: what you see, what you hear, and smell and feel. Practice this exercise for a few minutes every day or use it whenever you’re stressed. If you have trouble doing this you can buy a relaxation CD. I will soon have some I personally made on my website.

• Mindfulness: Staying in the moment with full attention on what you are doing. You can use mindfulness to focus on your breathing, your walking, etc.

• Thought Stopping: A cognitive behavioral technique, that teaches you to recognize negative thoughts, tell yourself to STOP and substitute a more positive thought. Works surprisingly well once you can recognize your self- destructive thinking.

Lifestyle Changes

 

• Delegate More Responsibility

• Increase Sleep time

• Use time management techniques

• Try to decrease your need for control

• Use positive affirmations

• Practice assertiveness

• Stop multitasking

• Focus on what you are doing

• Decrease expectations of yourself

• Pick your battles and use your anger well

Remember these won’t work if you don’t try them. Try one at a time, if something doesn’t work for you, try something else. Don’t give up persistence always pays off.

 

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